The best of The Mayhem Guy from the Allstate commercials
okay, but where is, “I’M THE SMARTEST RACCOON I KNOW”
i fucking love yugioh card storylines because so much effort go into some like the Duel Terminal storyline which i’m gonna talk later but
i wanna share gagagigo’s story with tumblr
(i can’t show all the cards since 10 image limit and i don’t wanna do part 1 and 2 but maybe i will one day ok proper capitalization time is now: this is not EVERY single card but this is the storyline more or less)
There once was a familiar named Gigobyte, who’s destiny was to become evil. however, he rejected and defied this destiny, and for many years would serve as the familiar of the water charmer, Eria.
Despite Gigobyte’s nature, Eria loved him unconditionally. However, in order to defeat an enemy, Eria was forced to preform the Spiritual Water art - Aoi.
Unable to bring herself to sacrifice the familiar she had come to love so dearly, she instead gave her own life to defeat this enemy, thus giving Gigobyte (who had by now grown up to become Gagagigo) another chance at life. However, unfortunately, without her guidance, Gagagigo would become a petty criminal.
It was around this time, however, the Duel Monster’s world would be invaded by a ferocious enemy:
However, the Invader was opposed by the Marauding Captain, who would go on to take a blow for Gagagigo when combating a Blazing Inpachi. This would leave a tremendous impact on Gagagigo, who renounced his evil ways, and would become the Marauding Captain’s most faithful ally against the Invader and his armies.
One day, in combat, Gagagigo would return the favor his Captain had done for him so many years ago, and sheltered him from what would have been a fatal blast from the Invader himself.
… Unfortunately, it went without saying that the Invader was far stronger than the Blazing Inpachi, and the injuries left him crippled. Gagagigo would never fight again for as long as he lived. Unable to accept this, he defied everything the Captain would have wanted from him, and sought out… a certain man. If he could even be called that…
Kozaky was a mad scientist. The Dark World had stayed independent of the conflict between the Captain’s nation and the Invader of Darkness, looking at awe: potentially to swoop in and conquer all when they were at their weakest?
Regardless, Gagagio sought him out after learning of his incredibly skills: it was said Kozaky knew things no other mortal did. And true enough, he agreed… alas, however, what Gagagigo failed to learn was Kozaky was working on perfecting his cybernetic enhancement project. He preformed his operation on Gagagigo, letting him think he would be fixing him good as new… not letting him know he was but a guinea pig in his experiments.
It worked… horrifically. The pain and power took it’s tole on Gagagigo tremendously.
Everything he worked so hard to accomplished amounted to nothing in the end. Every lesson he learned from Eria and the Marauding Captain was destroyed in his lust for power. He even forgot why he took this path: to defeat the Invader. He became a new kind of evil: before, Gagagigo was a petty criminal. Muggings, fighting, robbery: a simple kind of evil. But now, all Gagagigo cared was for increasing his strength, fighting any enemy that dared cross his path.
As he would become more used to his powers, he would become stronger and stronger, achieving the ultimate pinnacle of power: one that far surpassed anybody’s expectations. The Captain’s, Kozaky’s, even the Invader himself to his horror…
Gagagigo was now among the strongest creatures in the world, just barely weaker than the three legendary Blue-Eyes White Dragons. With his massive attack power, he would even go on to defeat the Invader: tearing him limb from limb, his armies fleeing home in fear, and the Dark World not daring to challenge the enemy Kozaky created, while Kozaky watched in glee at his experiment’s victory.
Gagagigo had succumbed to his evil destiny. He had replaced the Invader as the ultimate embodiment of evil in this world. Everything had been for naught. The gentleness that Eria, the woman who raised him, was utterly forgotten as he tore his enemy’s apart. The bravery and sense of justice the Captain, the man who unknowingly put him on this dark path, meant nothing as the new monster cared nothing for power, only to destroy all that laid before him.
Eventually, however, Gagagigo could no longer be ignored, and the Captain realized he would have to fight the beast he once loved like a son. With Freed the Matchless General, he sought out his enemy. Gagagigo remembered Freed from a previous battle, and swooped in without mercy.
However, the Captain did not wish to kill Gagagigo. As Gagagigo swooped in for the kill, he made one last desperate plea with Gagagigo…
… and Gagagigo remembered.
He remembered his childhood days with Eria, playing games with her and rushing into battle with her.
He remembered Eria sacrificing her own life when he was fully prepared to accept his duty as his familiar to activate the spell of Aoi, and her wishes for him to follow his own path, not just what destiny said.
He remembered his emptiness of his life before, all the criminal activity, the people he hurt, the guilt and the shame he lived with for every day of his life… then the Captain.
He remembered what justice was. He remembered what honor was. He remembered sparring with the Captain, fighting as his equal, he remembered what it was like to live not for himself, but for the sake of other people…
And Gagagigo’s heart was purified.
Gagagigo’s curse had now become a blessing. He realized before, it was not the cybernetic enhancements which had turned him evil: it was the lust for power which had clouded his judgment. The darkness that laid within Gagagigo’s heart was strong, however, he remembered something else as well:
Nobody alone is all powerful, but with the power of friendship and love, anything could be overcomed. And so, he took back his heart from his own lust of power, and with Eria and the Captain’s help, he won.
With the Invader dead, Gagagigo now walks alone. Well, not entirely. Even though he once again parted ways with the Marauding Captain, he would never again forget all he and Eria taught him. Even if his darkest hour approached yet again, he would never forget what he learned from them: kindness, sacrifice, honor, and justice. And with these truth resting in his heart, he would fight evil wherever it laid.
Destiny proclaimed Gigobyte would one day become evil. And it is true: in fact, as Gogiga Gagagigo, he was the most terrifying evil the world had ever seen. But now, free from his destiny, he walks his own path.
We are now recruiting!
We are a brand spanking new closed roleplay group for the amazing game Fire Emblem: Awakening! We’ve got tons of characters available and they’re just calling your name, and we’d absolutely love to have you!
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by Kiy Meister.
i love how they all go from hard as hell and then turn into complete friggin dorks